Whether at work, with friends or in family life it’s a fact that getting criticism is part of interacting. No one wants to hear things about themselves that seem to insult the ego and sense of self. It is easy to tighten up, lash back or shut down. The harder thing is to try and listen with an open mind.

Often the criticizer’s motive isn’t pure and there may be some of their own issues involved in their comments to you. Nonetheless, it can still be helpful to hear something and take from it what may be true or partially true. It’s easy to get caught up in the question of someone’s motive, but for your own growth the true issue is whether or not you can benefit from their remarks even if there was not a pure giving behind it.

If what the person says is full of malice but still gives you something to think about then you can think about the part that may be true. If what the person says is false then their statement is something that can then be ignored.

Most people’s criticisms are a mix of personal reactions and truth. Look at your body language when you react. Do you tighten your stomach and feel tension in your chest? Try to relax as you listen. It is often our egos that feel wounded but everyone remembers a sharp criticism that turned their life around as well. Sometimes it is the remarks that sting that really transform us.

Think of the other person as the one who can see parts of yourself you can’t see. Just as we can’t our back, that is true as well about some of our personality traits. It can be a gift to get criticism that helps you see outside your perspective if it leads to insights, despite what the reason behind it is for the speaker who uttered the comment.